Oh Father . . .

Divine Father (Daikon Flower) - to help and encourage healing of the emotional wounds of the "father" in every direction.

Recently I experimented with taking a bottle of flower essences provided by Christine Cobden from One Garden Essences. ​I decided to experiment with essences with the soul focus of feeling my emotions and accessing emotions that I did not want to feel. Like many tools flower essences can be a great help to assist us to feel our emotions not avoid them. If were using a tool to make ourselves feel better or avoid emotions then it will not benefit us in the long run. It will also not benefit us to become dependant on tools to feel our emotions, rather we can use them to give us a kick start when we are feeling a bit stuck to help us on our way to becoming completely self responsible for feeling all of our emotions.

Before I continue I want to say that I am no expert in flower essences and what I share is purely from a personal experience of what I found and discovered along the way. This is also open to error due to my soul condition of love that I may need to correct in the future but this is where I am at right now and what I have learnt.

Just a bit of background to my decision to experiment with essences. Months before I decided to experiment with these essences I started to realise that my law of attraction hadn't changed for many years in certain area's of my life such as my relationship with God, soulmate, friends and living situation. I have previously written about this and I recommend reading that blog first here to get a bit of background of my discovery about these emotions. 

I chose to experiment with Christine's essences because she also follows Divine Truth teachings and understands a lot about the emotional processes we need to go through in order to release and heal emotional injuries from the soul. She advocates that the essences are merely a tool and that it is up to me to do the emotional work while I am on them. To my understanding there are natural messages from God and the Celestial realms in the particular genetic design of the flowers that can teach us a lot about God, the spirit world and ourselves. With the help of her spirit guides Christine is inspired by the design of each flower to create and name the essences and share the specific message they have for us about our existence.

To begin my course with these essences I had an over the phone consultation with her and she used her law of attraction cards of the essences to determine what flower essences I needed at this time for my specific emotional injuries that I needed to work on. Each card is named after all the essences she has personally made and she drew the cards one by one, with the first card drawn being the most significant emotional injury to focus on. The cards that she drew for me in this order were:

Divine Father
Divine Resonance
Divine Song
Denial
Divine Passion
Royal Welcome
Divine Flow
Divine Gratitude
Divine Balance
Golden Challice

The first essence I would like to focus on is Divine Father given this is the area of most importance at this time that I need to work on.  Divine Father was created from the flower of Daikon, a Japanese root vegetable she grew in her Fibonacci Golden Spiral garden. For 3 weeks after she made this essence she had the Bee Gees song "Run To Me" playing over and over in her head and when that finished the song "Gotta Get a Message To You" played for another 3 weeks. ​

This essence focuses on the blocks that we have to our relationship with God which in this case are all connected to our relationship with our earthly father. I am not surprised that this is the first card that was drawn as I have been aware for quite some time that I have been projecting my emotional injuries that I have with my earthly father onto God. In 2015 I wrote a letter to God everyday for a year however did not feel God's presence at all in my life and made the discovery that it was my father issues that was preventing me from feeling Him. I have also had quite a few different law of attraction events and illnesses over the last year showing me this injury with men and I had been listening to Madonna's Oh Father in the months leading up to taking these essences - a song I used to listen to a lot as a teenager.

However the issue is that I have been quite stuck on feeling any emotions about how my earthly father has treated me which means I have been quite resistive. I have felt a lot of emotion in regards to my mother but I have deeply suppressed a lot of my anger, grief and sadness about my earthly father, and the truth that a lot of my abandonment injuries also come from him as well. Over the years the suppressed grief with my father has pretty much turned in rage and anger towards all men. I've hated on men, I've used them for my own sexual gratification even tho I identify as a gay soul and I felt a massive resistance to any kind of male interaction.  

This has definitely affected my relationship with God, I just see God as a horrible man that can't be trusted and that is just going to abandon me in the end. Due to all of this pent up rage I have had a tendency all my life to self punish and hate myself and men rather than feel just how much I've been hated by my father. A month into taking these essences I began to have more than usual sexual dreams with men and I also had some law of attraction events that led me to feeling some emotions about my earthly father that I had never allowed myself to feel before. 

On the 10 June 2017 at 1:30am I wrote in my journal:

'Dear God, I never realised just how much my dad has damaged me emotionally. Tonight I felt a sadness that I had never felt before about my dad. At first I felt angry and wanted to hate myself and punish myself. Then I realised that my dad hated me. I have deeply suppressed the hurt of these feelings, I have pushed them so far down in my soul that I forgot how sad I was at the complete loss, rejection and abandonment of my father. I felt things I had never felt before or even knew existed in me about my father. I never realised how deeply sad, broken and abandoned I have felt form him. He hurt and broke me from the inside out with his words, projection of hate, anger, blame, resentment and judgement towards me. I still feel this.'

That was the first night in my whole existence that I had ever cried and sobbed from a deep and grieving place about my earthly father. I felt like a little girl when I was crying, the little sensitive girl that felt so abused but never allowed herself to cry all those years ago. It wasn't a blaming cry and I probably didn't release anything causal but it was a true emotional surrender to the truth of how my earthly father has completely turned his back on me and has never ever been there for me in anyway whatsoever. 

I know that I have way more to feel on this issue and there are other experiences I have had with God this year which I am yet to share however, I do feel somewhat closer to God than I ever have over the last three and half years of experimenting with a relationship.  I am beginning to feel God as a reality with each and every new little experience my faith is now beginning to grow that God exists and is right there waiting for each of us to find and discover Him. 

There is probably so much more I could talk about in regards to my father issues  and I also have so much more to share at some future point about some of the other discoveries I had about my emotional injuries and emotions in general that came up while on was on these essences. However this is all I have for now and I just want to say that I felt that my time on the essences was really beneficial in assisting me to feel my emotions. Just like many tools such as juice cleansing or music, flower essences can be a powerful tool as well. There was a lot that I felt and discovered about myself that I look forward to sharing more soon. 

​Love Thaylia X

Useful Links
One Garden Essences