ARTWORK CREDIT: Eloisa Lytton-HytchinsOver the last few years I have recorded a collection of emotional experiences I have gone through in becoming self aware of what's in my facade - the things I believe about myself that aren't really true. We can all become self aware of what is inside of us if we listen to the messages that are right in front of us in our daily lives. The universe, God, the Law of Attraction is constantly bringing us situations and people to expose to us our unhealed emotional injuries that include our fears, anger, addictions, judgements and every single thought, word or action that is out of harmony with God's view of love. The way to gauge what the unloving error is inside of us is to feel what our emotional response is to any given situation. Our emotions are our guide, if any fear, anger, annoyance, frustration or any negative emotion arises we can automatically assume that we have an emotional injury or error that needs to be felt and released regardless of what the external trigger may have been. Every emotion we feel is our responsibility to heal no matter who put it in us or how it got there. The end goal is to work through all that is unloving within ourselves so that we can truthfully feel love and compassion towards others no matter what their actions are. In this place we will truly come to love our enemies, feel love for even the most darkest soul such as the soul who kills or rapes. We will come to see every person as our family and we won't just favour the ones who are our family or closest friends. My law of attraction has exposed to me my judgements, anger, fear and hatred many times so I am going through this process myself and it is a process we will all have to go through if we want to see peace on earth. All of our unloving emotions are contributing to turmoil that's in the world whether we are physically partaking in it or not, our emotions are creating our environment and the world we live in. So we need to start with ourselves before we will see change in the world. I have attempted at best to listen to these messages that are brought to me on a daily basis, sometimes I am arrogant and don't want to see what I'm being shown and usually in this place I get physically ill so I know ignoring the messages doesn't work. Other times I am humble and in that place I can see it and allow myself to go through the emotional experience of whatever emotion has been triggered and usually in this place of humility I learn so much and feel so much joy at the end of it. I have found the law of attraction to be so beneficial in teaching me so much about myself and what my emotional injuries are and this is something that we all can do. I will be sharing some of these experiences I have learnt over the next few months starting with this one that I had back in 2015. This experience is about becoming self aware of my fear of having real connection with people. This issue is still a working progress for me, I still find myself at times just doing and not feeling, conforming, hiding myself, not speaking up, being afraid to love or show my emotions and being afraid to be vulnerable. But there are also times where I have challenged those area's as well and completely jumped off the cliff of fear and into the unknown. I have told others how I feel about them, I have spoken up for love and truth and shared my feelings or thoughts on certain subjects, I have confronted angry women and men and unloving behaviour towards me, I have stood up for unloving behaviour towards others and I have let out my childlike nature and humour around others. I feel to some degree I have changed over the last few years and feel my real self poking out more now but I still find myself at times retreating and hiding again when things get a little scary or too confronting, and then coming back out again for another peak or test the water a little again. Nevertheless I enjoy myself as a person a lot more than I used to, I enjoy getting to know me and all of what I am passionate about. I always thought music was my only passion but I'm discovering I am passionate about so much more and sometime's I even think I'm alright on occasion and can show a lot of compassion towards myself when in the past I have always had a tendency to self punish. This is where I am at now but the goal is to get to the stage of being a 100% emotional feeling being, to discover all that my soul was created to be and to show my true colours to others 100% of the time. Hope you enjoy and benefit from this in some way! 3 June 2015 The other day a 9 year old girl told me that her phone and computer was her life. My initial reaction was one of disbelief and judgement about how sad and terrible it was that a person so young could feel that way. I then became angry inside at how everyone has become walking computers devoid of any emotion and unwilling to share nothing more of themselves past the screen of a computer. How whatever interaction is shared or experienced between people is mostly in façade and emotional addiction with each other. In other words we are not really being our true selves in the company of others, we are presenting to people a version of ourselves that we and our environment have created in order to be accepted, we mould ourselves to be likeable by people rather than say how we truly feel and think. Then I remembered that God's law of attraction brings us situations and events to teach us about what is unhealed within us. What we judge in others we judge and hate about ourselves. I started to realised that this young girl’s words were trying to teach me something about myself and that my anger and judgements were hiding some pretty big fears that I have about myself that I do not wish to admit. So I started to ask myself what is this young girl trying to teach me and this is what I learned: In my façade I believe myself to be better than that, that I place importance on the things that matter like love, truth, honesty and having meaningful connections to people but what I think I am and what I really am are two completely different things. It’s easy for me to hide behind the screen of a computer and write loving words to somebody, to talk about something that I am passionate about or something that I believe in but when it comes to real life connections with people I do not have the same courage to share my feelings and emotions with others. The truth is deep down I am scared and as a result I place importance on the things that don’t matter in life. I place importance on how others will perceive me and as a result I am scared to share all of me with people. I’m scared to let down my computer generated wall and let people see all of me and my brokenness. I’m scared to just be myself and be open, honest, truthful and transparent about who I am, what my beliefs, desires and passions are. I am scared to show people my humour and excitement. I am scared to ask the girl that I admire out on a date or tell somebody how beautiful they are or smile at people that I don’t know. I am afraid and ashamed to tell people that I believe in God preferring to refer to Her as my Creator, I am afraid to tell people that I believe that a guy named AJ Miller and a women named Mary Luck is Jesus and Mary Magdalene reincarnated out of fear of being accused of being a part of a cult and being seen as weird or crazy. The reason I am scared is because I fear rejection. I have been taught from a very young age that its not ok to be truthful and honest about your feelings and that being truthful and honest will only bring me harm such as attack, physical and emotional abuse, ridicule and judgement. I have learned to mold myself into the person that my family have wanted me to be, they want me to feel, think, say and act in a way that doesn’t threaten or confront them. They want me to make them happy and as result I have learned to judge and attack myself for my true feelings and emotions rather than feel the grief that is inside of me about the judgements, attacks and rejection I have received from them in my childhood. In my mind my greatest desire is to learn about love and become the loving person I know I can be but yet I am so fearful and afraid of everything that requires truth and real true love. These fears have me locked up and frozen and they have buried the child within me who was once unafraid to be vulnerable and full of courage, wonder and excitement. I have a long, long way to go in releasing many of these fears but as I become more aware to what they are I can begin this process of allowing myself to connect to my painful emotions of fear and grief. I am able to take the necessary steps towards loving myself and letting go of those relationships that have been and continue to be damaging to my soul. The more I allow myself to grieve my childhood and feel my fears the more I allow myself to be my child like vulnerable self once again.' Thaylia Words Mary Luck/Magdalene Trust God Keep Breathing Love and Compassion for others (especially those who attack) Don’t expect myself to be perfect ‘Stay humble to my own feelings and I won’t become rigid or defensive, if I love myself enough to stay connected to myself I will be able to love others more, while I hold onto grief I hold onto the pain that can be inflicted through attack, when I allow myself to grieve I create space to love ALL others.’ ‘I am not perfect and I am very afraid, my heart aches from a deep rocky hollow within me. I have a cavern in my chest that cries out at a life without family and a life of Truth that challenges so very many. But amidst all of this also grows a new hope, a vision of a life without fear of how others will view me and that place would be liberating indeed.’ Resources Developing My Loving Self - The Creation of My Facade Developing My Loving Self - The Creation of My Facade Q & A Developing My Loving Self - Accepting My Facade Developing My Loving Self - Accepting My Facade Q & A Resistance to Humility P1 Resistance to Humility P2 Resistance to Humility P3 Resistance to Humility P4 Comments are closed.
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