ARTWORK CREDIT: LOVE RADAR BY ELOISA LYTTON-HITCHINSI don’t go to church or support religion, I swear a lot, like to practice twerking alone in my room in front of the mirror . . . and I am gay. But that's not what I want to come out about - I have a confession to make - I am . . . . a God lover and it is my life goal to have a personal connection and relationship with God and ultimately become At-one with God’s Love. I have mostly referred to God as my Creator because I have fears of how others will perceive the word ‘God’ and I want you to like and accept me. Religion has done a great job of portraying God as some kind of man that sits on a throne judging people especially GAY people but there I said it . . . the 'G' word - I am a fully blown God lover who has officially come out of the closet and I am here to share the good news that God LOVES HER GAY children, in fact, created Her GAY children (another subject for later)! All sounds like vegan cookies and cream and hallelujah and praises but it isn't. As I've discovered having a relationship with God isn't just about saying a few words and amen, it is about establishing a real time emotional connection just like we would with a person on earth - getting to know their personality, desire's, passions, learning knowledge from them and establishing a two way flow of love. Except this being God you cant see or hear so you have to rely completely on feeling Her instead - which means you have to be sensitive emotionally - which means if you have shut down your emotions you have to start feeling them again - which means having to feel all of your shit basically - which means healing every single little emotional error that exists inside of your soul that might block you from feeling God's emotions. Our soul is like a love radar, transmitting information out into the universe that will either attract us to or block love from our lives. If our transmitter is broken we won't be able to feel or sense God's Love. God's Love is there, available for all to feel without needing to be perfect but our emotional condition and beliefs prevents us from feeling Her and shuts down our love radar! God has never really been on my love radar and I have never really loved or understood God at all even as a child growing up in a christian household and even when I was a mormon. My belief in God has been pretty much intellectual knowledge and it was based heavily on church doctrines and dogma and not based on personal emotional truth and first hand experience. I have never had personal experience that God loves me, is a REAL tangible Being that exists, that hears me, feels me and is somebody I can personally know and feel. It wasn't until I came across Divine Truth teachings that it opened my mind to the possibility of God being a completely different Being to what I had been taught. However when I first learnt about Divine Truth, I didn't hear it and all of a sudden go yippy now I get to have God in my life. In fact, I didn't want God in my life, I just wanted God to fix my life - I just wanted to be magically happy. It took a year of me listening to Divine Truth teachings to finally decide ok I'm going to give this relationship with God a go, after all this is the basis of Divine Truth teachings, that everyone on earth can have a personal, intimate and real connection with God and it does not require religion or the death or sacrifice of any living being to achieve this. So I bought a big fat journal and almost every single day of 2015 I wrote a letter to God. After a year of writing a letter to God though I realised that I still didn't know God in the way that I hoped would happen. I feel that I felt God's Love at times when I was feeling through my pain but I still didn't feel like I had Her in my life. I wanted to be able to wake up and feel that she was there. On the 25 Dec 2015 I reflect in my journal: 'God, if I am really honest I do not have faith or yet trust in your existence, if you really exist and know me. I have had moments in the past where I have a strong sense of truth, that I am Your child and that you are my True Parent but yet I still do not have a strong trust that You are there, that you personally feel me and know me. How can I come to know You 100% TRULLY EXIST? Show me PLEASE.' The answer came to me within a week. When God wants to teach us or show us She uses Her Law of Attraction to bring us events to expose what the emotional injuries or blocks are that prevent us from feeling Her and Her Love. I don't have time to explain what happened but what I discovered through God's Law of Attraction was that I still had some deep core emotions about my earthly father that I had not yet connected to and as a result I was associating God with how my earthly father treated me. I still viewed God as a man, a punishing man who didn't care about me, who has never been there for me, someone who's unreliable and can't be trusted. Basically I was blaming God for how my father treated me and saying to God from my soul, God I believe you are a CUNT just like my father and I can't trust you. In my mind I want to have a relationship with you but my feeling in my soul is saying no I don't you are just going to disappoint me, not love me or care for me just like my earthly father. You will abandon me. On the 29 Dec 2015 I wrote in my journal: 'I'm angry at my father for always breaking his promises to me. He's a cunt, completely unreliable, he's never been there for me and I do hate him. He never provided for me or took care of me and that's how I feel about You God. You are so rich and abundant but yet you do not take care of my basic needs. I do not trust in You, that I can fully 100% trust You with my life, I feel I have to do it all by myself, that the only reliable person in my life is me.' BAM there it was! I had to come to realise that it wasn't God who didn't love me it was my earthly father. My earthly father is the person who has harmed me and caused me pain. It was my earthly father who abandoned me and treated me like shit not God. I had to emotionally feel the hurt and pain of my father's treatment of me in order to stop blaming God for something She didn't do and allow Her into my life. These emotional injuries towards my earthly father was preventing me from feeling God in my life much like it would if you were in a relationship with someone. You can't possibly love them or feel their love if you do not trust them. When we have unhealed emotional injuries from either of our parents and we do not allow the hurt out it won't only affect our ability to connect to God but it will also affect our ability to connect to both men and women. Over the past year I have been working on disassociating God from my earthly father by choosing to not view God as the same as my earthly father. I have had to allow myself to connect to my anger and grief about how my earthly father treated me. I had to make a choice to view God as someone who is loving, kind and gentle, the complete opposite of my earthly father. God is nothing like my earthly father and only wants the best for me. Once I began to do that my heart began to soften and open up towards God and the possibility that She was good and not like what I had been taught. I began to feel more fulfilled and connected to myself, I began to worry less about not being perfect or good enough. I began to start loving myself because thats what God wants for me. God doesn't want me to hate myself like my earthly father did. I was no longer choosing to believe the lies my earthly father taught me about myself and I began to trust God's view of me. In this place God also began to teach me about myself and I had a couple of personal experiences that I will share in detail at a later time that have strengthened my faith in a good God who wants to be there for me. However my relationship with God is still a working progress. Even with all of these experiences things have not happened magically and I am still learning to become 100% God reliant. I have been highly self reliant for a very long time because of my complete lack of trust in anyone else being there for me and this is not going to change over night without me working through and feeling all of the anger and hurt inside me from every little single corner of my life. Can you see why it isn't all vegan cookies and cream, hallelujah and praises? It's a very real process that cannot be intellectually worked through like some university course. You cannot get there via your mind, it is only via your emotions that you will come to know God - it is a soul to soul connection. I hope to share more of my journey in getting to know God over the coming years as I experiment with Her in this relationship. I do not foresee that my relationship with God will happen overnight, it is a very personal experience that will take as much time based on my desire and faith. It doesn't require me to attend any church or to have a saviour, all it requires is for me to seek God with all of my heart and never give up. I want a love radar that feels God's Love! Love Thaylia XX Developing My Will to Love Assistance Group 2016 - I speak at 30:13 about my feelings towards God The REAL Truth about God God is not a man that sits on a throne judging people and is without human form. God is an entity who is in the form of a soul that is genderless but has masculine and feminine qualities. I sometimes refer to God as a He or She because I believe God is our Mother and Father who created our souls in the image and likeness of their Soul. God is our True Parent and exists outside of this universe many, many million light years away. All of Gods creations are enveloped by Her Soul, in other words the universe and this earth and all the planets and everything that God has created are all contained within God’s Soul, that is how big God’s Soul is and is the reason why God can be felt by many people at the same time. God is only a God of Love and the way God communicates to Her children is through emotion in particular the emotion of God’s Divine Love. It is the love that comes from God and is very different to natural love, which is the love that is transmitted between humans. What is Divine Love? Divine Love, God’s Love is an energetic substance and an emotion that brings with it the gift of immortality where it has the ability to transform the human soul where the physical body will no longer age, disease or die. It can only be felt by humans who have a sincere desire or longing for it. God is unable to force Her Love upon others that do not want it as God wants to respect our free will and understands that not all of Her children want to have a relationship with Her. God isn’t offended by this but is always ready and waiting to gift Her Divine Love when it is requested. Emotion can be transmitted by the speed of light therefore although God is many million light years away it is possible to feel God’s Divine Love instantly when you desire or long for it. What it feels like to receive Divine Love The way that Divine Love is transmitted is from God’s Soul to our soul, in the human form we cannot see the Love flow into our soul but we can feel it. Our soul is an invisible entity that envelopes our body, it is attached and envelopes both our physical and spirit body. You will know when you are receiving God’s Divine Love into your soul because you will cry. Our soul is our container for our emotions therefore when Divine Love is received into our soul it will automatically trigger us to feel our emotions. Due to our unhealed condition we will feel grief when receiving God’s Love because of the painful emotions that we carry in our soul we will cry, we will feel our grief of not having this Love in our life for so long, a Love like no other that is pure and warm and says you are worthy. The only time that Divine Love cannot flow into the soul of a human is when we have blockages, these blockages might be fears towards God or false beliefs about God and other factors. THE GREAT EXPERIMENT If anybody wants to get to know if God exists and Divine Love is real then I encourage you to engage in the Great Experiment and ask God, say ‘ If God is an entity who exists and has Love to give then I would love to receive it’. It cannot be asked from the mind, it has to be asked from you heart as a sincere longing that is emotional and not an intellectual process. If you would like to know more I recommend checking out this playlist and watching all of the Secrets of the Universe sessions! Also head to the Divine Truth tab on this blog for more resources Comments are closed.
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